Brought to you by my friend Noelle’s experience interning at a District Attorney’s office. 1. Not showing up.
2. Having your mother kindly explain your absence by saying “he in a chain-gang.”
3. When the judge calls you because your lawyer isn’t present, you answer “which one is this?”
4. When he replies that it is the meth-related case, you say, “not the grand theft auto?”
5. Responding to your name with “yo.”
6. Dressing like a criminal.
7. Having your family members try to get you out of it by complaining to the DA’s office receptionist.
8. Bringing your two-year-old (and/or baby) to court.
9. Requesting a new public defender. (Beggars can’t be choosers.)
10. Asking if the District Attorney’s receptionist knows who your lawyer is.
EDIT:
11. Talk incessantly when it is not your turn.
12. Suck your thumb.