It's officially summer, you guys. School is out, it's 800 degrees in Tennessee, and best of all, The Bachelorette is back.
Lest you assume I'm a hopeless romantic that believes in finding EVERLASTING FAIRY TALE MAGICAL ONCE IN A LIFETIME LOVE by making out with 25 different hair-gelled men on television, let me clear the air and say how well aware I am this whole thing is outrageously ridiculous.
And that is why I love/hate it.
As I explained in this last post containing my Bachelor bracket, there is a growing group of us over at Xtra Bacon and on Twitter who like to all come together and make fun of the people competing FOR LOVE. It's not mean when they are Accountants SLASH DJ's who can't spell and purposefully put themselves in the public eye to tell a girl (along with 24 other guys) that she's the most beautiful girl in the world and there's nowhere else he'd rather be and he never thought he'd fall in love like this. I'm just saying they're fair game.
[NOTE: If you like funny things and like (or hate) the Bachelor/ette you should listen to the Xtra Bacon podcast recap "For Love" featuring my hilarious friends Knox and Jamie as you go along this season. The first two previewing the hopeful bachelors are already up and are filled with some GEMS. Check them out here and here.]
All that to say, IT IS TIME. And I am pumped.
So far we know that there will be several fist fights, one tearful muscle-bound man defending himself to the rest of the guys that he's here for the "right reasons" (whatever those are), a lot of crying from Des, an angry girlfriend from back home...it's going to be a wild ride, you guys.
So without further ado, I present to you my picks for the season. To put faces with names, check the bios here. (Unfortunately the magician is already gone. I KNOW. It was really prejudiced of her.) To play along, click here for the rules and the bracket. If you do, let me know in the comments so we can all play together and MAYBE even have a prize.
[If it isn't obvious, our printer is out of black ink.]
Breakdown of my top 3:
3. Brooks - Even though I was sorely disappointed in the pitch of his speaking voice, I thought he had potential from the get-go. Mostly because in his headshot he was wearing a denim shirt over a striped one. I also saw him on a few dates in the upcoming montage so I hope he goes this far. It's kind of a long shot, but you never know (ahem, LINDSAY).
2. Drew - He's kind of pretty, and he was in all the montages. He was in my top picks from the get-go as well simply because he seemed like a normal person. I was also sorely disappointed in his speaking voice. WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN?
1. Bryden - OK I KNOW he doesn't look that great in his photo (his hair has improved significantly) and normally I would never put him in this position. But she seemed to really like him, and given that he is relatively introverted but sweet, I think he could be a great fit for her. She's pretty extroverted and bubbly, so I think she needs someone laid back. He's a respectable military man who can string sentences together like a pro (a huge asset on this program), so I think he's got a shot. Plus I saw him on extravagant dates in the montage as well. It seems unlikely now, but you just wait. He could be the next One F Jef (sigh. I still miss him.) I just really wish his name wasn't Bryden. It grates on my nerves.
Who are your top picks? Who do you think is prettiest based on the bios (AHEM Juan Pablo)? If you're not watching, what are your summer shows?