[Excuse me a moment while I get all Knox McCoy on you.] Oh em gee. Guys. Are you ready for this? I don't know that you are. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind, because this is going to make it implode.
MILEY CUT HER FINGER. WITH A COOKING KNIFE. [article here]
It's okay, just try to keep breathing. Go get a paper bag if you need to. I'm not sure how that actually helps hyperventilation, but they do it in the movies so it's got to be effective.
I know what you're thinking:
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF HER FINGER AT THE TIME?
Why was she cutting her own food? Don't they know who she is? Does Billy Ray's soul patch know about this?
Why do bad things happen to mediocre people?
Don't worry though. According to the article, this unflattering picture of her suggests that she is uncomfortable, but stable:
Miley, I know it's tough to go through something like this. Especially in the public eye. But like Kelly Clarkson says, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You will rise from the ashes of this tragedy like a phoenix, with a renewed vigor for life and that same perpetual frog in your throat. And we will watch with anticipation and reverence as you continue on your path to self-discovery. Because, as you know, it's all about the climb. (See what I did there?)
Get well soon, Miley. We're all rooting for you.