E!

Remember that time Ryan Lochte got a TV show?

I'm beginning to think E! will stop at nothing to ensure every human being on the planet has been on a reality show at least once in their existence. Seriously, is there anything they won't film and throw haphazardly on the TV screen?

It's kind of like they take that "throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks" approach. If that's an approach at all. I can't remember if that's a real expression or not. When I was about 8, my neighbor taught me to throw noodles up to the ceiling to see if they were done. I'm not sure if that's something everyone did. Moving on.

There's a whole host of Kardashian programming (really they should just have their own channel by now, right? I think it should be named "K!" Both because it is a rip-off of "E!" and because it sounds like you are agreeing emphatically with someone when you say it.), a show about Tia and Tamara Mowry (sorry, they're fine and all, but that's a low bar), and a myriad of other crazy parades they throw in there, I believe, solely to give The Soup content.

And now, there's Lochte.

Yep, everyone's not-so-favorite swimming douchebag, Ryan Lochte, has been given a show. Ugh. As much as my affinity for Michael Phelps has dissipated over the years due to his overconfidence, pot-smoking and Subway ads, I like this guy even less. Though I suppose his apparent dimness could be entertaining on camera.

I really wish they would just give the "Fierce 5" a show and call it a day. Olympic training combined with high school girl drama has got to make good television, right?

Anyway, they have ordered 6 episodes of Lochte-vision, and basically their argument for putting him on TV is that he is dumb and pretty, which makes up for his tendency to be a tool I guess. I think we've got enough dumb and pretty people on TV, y'know? What is Lochte going to bring to the table that the cast of the Bachelor and/or Bachelorette can't? I'm asking.

The show will follow him as he continues his rigorous training and tries to "find the right gal." Sounds about right. Probably lots of making out and frat-tastic language will make appearances. That and abs. Lots of abs.

Apparently he even has Lochte-isms including the spellbinding "jeah" and the fact that he pees in pools.

Sigh. I don't even know if I could handle this. It sounds too outrageous to enjoy normally but not outrageous enough to enjoy ironically.

Would you watch a show following Ryan Lochte? If not, what Olympian(s) would you rather watch?