One fateful day in the winter of 2012, my husband and I discovered Finding Bigfoot (or "Bigfoot Hunters," as I will inevitably always call it, likely due to the omnipresence of House Hunters in my life.)
Immediately we were intrigued. So many questions:
-Where did they find these people?
-Since when is there such thing as the Bigfoot Field Research Organization (or BFRO, as those in the biz call it)?
-Making a guy named Bobo run through the woods from 50 yards away, and screeching in the forest at 1am counts as research?
-Will they ever convince Ranae--the token skeptic--that Bigfoot exists, or, perhaps more importantly, to get a better haircut?
Though I do think this ragtag group of underdogs makes for a pretty good team, I would suggest one additional member: Marshall Eriksen.
Why? Six reasons, easy:
+ He has the faith of a child when it comes to belief in mystical creatures (see: Nessie). I expect he would be totally on board for bigfoot research.
+ He's probably almost as tall and broad as the average bigfoot (we viewers wouldn't actually know) so he'd be great for the reenactments. At some point Bobo is going to get tired of traipsing through the woods and calling out "did it look taller than me?" He'd probably welcome having an alternate to tap in.
+ Marshall could slap-bet Ranae every couple episodes that they'll finally see a bigfoot. Sure, he'd get slapped a lot, due to the fact that these people are terrible at the one thing they've devoted their entire lives to, but who wouldn't tune in to see that?
+ Marshall also cares deeply about the environment and is from rural Minnesota, so I'm fairly certain spending the night in the woods every other day would be a delight for him. He needs a break from that city life anyway. Remember when he lamented that he is too big for New York while at Stella's house in New Jersey? The crowds, the small spaces...not a problem in the squatch country.
+ He comes from a family of quaint people who put mayonnaise in "salad," and I think it would be safe to say the witnesses in Finding Bigfoot run in similar circles. He'd connect with them instantly, making him a perfect interviewer.
+ It would be handy to have a big guy like Marshall around just in case they ever really do find a bigfoot. I don't think they have a plan in place for when (if) they actually succeed. All the computer-generated images of bigfoots (bigfeet?) in the title sequence and reenactments are pretty ferocious-looking. Do they think the bigfoot is just going to intuitively understand that this particular group of humans are simply fascinated by the not-so-gentle giant, not trying to hurt him, causing him to simply tip his metaphorical hat and be on his way? Come on, Bobes. Get real.
(Side note: Is Bobo the same person as Judah Friedlander? The voice, the flowing, mangy locks...AND novelty trucker hats. Something to think about.)
At least Marshall would stand a chance against a Bigfoot. Bobes would probably trip and fall in his attempt to run away (he doesn't look very light on his feet). Moneymaker and Cliff would probably try to reason with the thing and fail. And Ranae, in a state of shock (due to her skepticism which they only allude to 287 times per episode) would probably just pass out, or abandon any attempt at maintaining her cool demeanor and start instinctively regurgitating everything she's learned in a rampage of tree knocks and squatch calls. Then pass out.
Marshall could at least put up a good fight and give everyone else a chance to get away. And y'know, I don't think he would mind taking one for the team. He's loyal like that.
What other characters would you like to see on Finding Bigfoot?
