This is a real news story that really happened this week.
Two inmates escaped from a maximum security prison via a hijacked helicopter in Quebec on Sunday afternoon. The helicopter literally dropped down ropes for them and then flew away.
I mean, y'all, I don't endorse escaping from prison or dumb ideas in general, but this particular dumb idea is pretty awesome.
I just kind of like that someone was ballsy enough to think, y'know what, we're not only going to escape from jail, but we're going to do it in a helicopter in broad daylight and shimmy up some ropes like it's freaking Mission: Impossible. And the other guy like high-fived him and they began using their allotted one phone call per day for months to plan this out with their non-incarcerated friends who for some unknown reason like these people enough (or owe them a large enough debt) that they are willing to take the 100% chance of going to jail as well (because let's face it, this is not ending well).
If you think about it, it's kind of like the guys who lowered the sick man into the temple from the roof for Jesus to heal, right?
No...you're right, it's not like that at all.
I also like that they got about half a day of freedom before they were apprehended and put back in jail. I mean, was it worth it? Was it worth using all your phone calls over who knows how long just to get to go eat at Chili's or whatever then get put right back in jail, when you could have been talking about like the Walking Dead or Tierra's sparkle on the phone with your mom or something? I'm just asking.
Now you're all in jail.
But you know, I guess you are forever the guys who ascended out of a prison into a helicopter and flew away while everyone just looked on dumbfounded because I mean really when does this ever happen in life? So...good on ya, mate. (If you are Australian and/or British please feel free to correct me on how people usually spell that phrase. And also please send Cadbury chocolate.)
I like to think in some alternate reality Chris Harrison was in on this (because he likes to be included). Like he went rogue and actually swiped the helicopter from the Bachelor warehouse (they must have invested in their own helicopter by now), then piloted it over a Canadian prison to help inmates escape.
Sorry all my references are Bachelor-related lately. I don't really know what else to do with all this nonsense in my head, especially now that The Bachelor isn't on anymore and Sean is now on Dancing with the Stars and I have to decide whether or not it is worth enduring to watch Sean try to dance on national television. But let's face it he'll probably be surprisingly graceful and win over the hearts of millions like he does every second he's on TV.
Back to the story.
The suspects escaped in a white Cadillac Escalade, which is another tile in the rich mosaic of their heinously conspicuous plan.
The police tracked the helicopter these guys RENTED and then hijacked, then they tracked the Escalade, and had them back in custody like six hours later after a shootout.
Just terrible planning all around, but I suppose if you're going to legit ESCAPE from prison, stealth is not really in the cards.
Can't believe this happened in Canada. Even our prisoners are lazy.
What do you think was the logic behind this plot? (Or was there any?)